Frustration von abgemeldet (Eine Sirius/Remus-Story !!! *grinz*) ================================================================================ Kapitel 1: Chapter One - A bad-mooded Bad Boy ---------------------------------------------- Frustration Prologe : I actually started to write this story for my penpal Julia (a.k.a. James/ CuteKagami ) when I was in a bad mood , but then I really put my heart into it and made it a SiriusBlack-Thing , 'cause everybody tells me I keep turning into Mr. "Don't make me angry" Black ! Yes , I'm sorry that he turned out so cranky , but he ( I ) really had a tough week and then he's got love problems and stuff like that . But he's gonna be okay, trust me ! Another thing : this is one of my very rare stories where I was not inspired or influenced by music ! *How Strange...* But a certain boy known as V.P. gave me ideas . Harriet and Anice are no main characters , they just happend to show up . Oh , and Peter Pettigrew is excused , he's in detention ... I'm planing to write a story about some Hogwarts students (perhaps Harry & Co.) in London during the Queens Jubilee , something like that . Anyway , Frustration is dedicated to Sara-cha...ups Julia-chan , VP and to everybody who get's lovesick and frustrated over himself and his best friends sometimes *Only sometimes , guys* Loads o' Luv 2 y'all , Mizuna / Vica ~" Mhm .... " she said critically and took another bite . " I don't know , I'll have to eat the whole cake to judge it ..."~ Chapter One " Sirius ! Hurry up !!! " James voice right next to his ear made Sirius jump a mile in the air . As he looked up starteled , he noticed that the History of Magic classroom was deserted . Only his two friends Remus Lupin and James Potter were still in the room, Remus leaning patiently in the doorway , James standing next to him . " Come on , lunch . " " Oh .. yes , I'm coming . " he said confused and gathered up his rolls of parchment . As they walked through the high corridors of Hogwarts , Remus looked worried at Sirius and shook his head . " What's the matter ? You're not behaving normaly today , or I don't know you . In Potions you droped the mistle-liquid and nearly scalded your fingers , then you told Professor Ternell to mind her own buisiness when she asked you what effect mistle-liquid has , in Charms Professor Arkensary nearly gave you detention because you started to fight with Severus and you didn't even notice ! And then you're totaly absent in History of Magic . I know it's not exactly a thrilling lesson , but ... oh , you get what I mean .What's wrong ? Why are you in such a foul mood ? " Sirius stared gloomily at the steps as they went down a spiral staircase which lead to the Great Hall . " Go on , tell us ! " James nodded . " If you messed something up we can fix it for you , no problem . It wouldn't be the first time ... " he added , grining at Sirius . But Sirius began to walk faster , not answering to their question . " Oh , for heavens sake ! Stop being so childish and spit it out ! We're dying to know , pleeaase ! Pretty please with whipped cream on top ? " , the two boys said in mock begging , hoping to get a rise out of their friend . But Sirius expression became more and more closed . " That's not your thing ... " he muttered and skipped two steps . His two friends exchanged dark looks and took up his speed . As they reached the Entrance hall and Sirius was going still faster , James began looking irritated . He finally grabed Sirius bag and pulled roughly . " Hey , let go ! " , Sirius called annoyed and tried to break free . But Remus held on to it too , and as Sirius gave another stuborn wrench , the strap ripped . The bag slipped to the floor and some books and quills clattered out , spraying the white marble with little ink drops . " Great ! Just great ! Well done , James ! And you , Remus ! What was that for ? " the boy nearly screamed , as he bent down to pick up his things . Other students hurried past them into the hall , Gryffindors looking at the group of boys in interest , Slytherins snickering . Remus and James started to help him , now feeling very guillty . But as Remus turned around , he stepped on a ink bowl which broke and left a huge blue stain on the floor while soaking three new roles of parchment . Remus stopped dead : " Oops .... I'm sor... " , but he was cut of . Sirius quickly scooped up his stuff and shot a glare at him , growling like a big dog : " Fine ! I guess that was on purpose ! But maybe you'd even be clumsy enough to do it a second time . Learn to control your movements . " Remus went bright red . The memory of the time when he had trodded on his friends homework and ruined it still made him feel very stupid . " I'm sure that you'd find something to break or critisise through lunch , but I've already had enough . Bye . " James silently watched Sirius rushing out of the hall , then he turned to face Remus . The brownhaired boy stared to the ground , shaking slightly. " Is he right , James ? " he asked with a strangly high voice . " Is he right ? Am I that clumsy ? I didn't want to break that bowl , it was an accident . Like the other time , it wasn't on purpose . And I did everything to help you get it fixed . Sirius is wrong , right ?" James nodded . Yet his anger about Sirius behavior began to melt . He couldn't help it , but somehow he was sympathetic for Sirius . Sometimes he wished he could also just explode and show his feelings openly . The Entrance Hall lay empty and the content voices of the eating students were floating out of the Great hall . Eating and chatting around buisily , none of them had noticed the row outside the doors . James patted Remus arm lightly and shrugged . " Forget it , he didn't mean what he said . Sirius is just in a vile mood . You know that we're not vindictive . And maybe it's better if he's alone until he catches his temper again . Don't think about it , let's go and have lunch . I'm starving ! " Remus nodded and gave James a small smile . As they settled down at the Gryffindor table , James lowered his voice . " By the way, what about a bit of exploring tonight ? It's full moon ... " Remus reached for the creamed potatoes and shook his head . " I can't , I have to help Harriet with her Defence against the Dark Arts-homework. You know that she needs me ... " Kapitel 2: Chapter Two - Dogs that bark bite ! ---------------------------------------------- Prologue : Alors , zweites kapitel . Ich liebe diesen Part !!! *aus dem leben geriffen ist* *sich an den tag erinner* Mhm ... *schultern zuck* Naja , jeder explodiert mal . *Chrissi anstubs* Ne ? Sirius stormed onto the Hogwarts grounds , not caring if he ramed someone or not . His eyes were glued to the gras , not taking in the splendour of the sparkling lake left to him . The straps of his bag were still slipping as he slowed down by a big tree near the Forbidden forest . As he examined them more closely , he saw that the second seam had burst too . Sirius angrily aimed a kick at the great oak , but his foot missed the trunk by several inches . He swayed , but he caught his balance and uttered a curse . Loud laughter started behind him . Turning around , he saw Severus Snape along with a bunch of Slytherins , which were all laughing gleefuly . " To stupid to hit a tree ? No prizes for guessing who we're talking about ! Maybe you should get yourself a pair of glases like Potters . But I guess Gryffindors don't need to see anything , they have their noses high enough already . " Sirius knew Severus well enough to see that he wanted to continue the fight from this morning and he actually didn't mind . Inside , he was itching to transform and chase that drat Slytherin around the quidditch-goals , but he couldn't . If anybody found out he was an Animagus , he'd probably be expelled . " Get lost , Snape ! Go and stick your head in a boilling kettle , maybe that would improve it . But I guess it would be too late cause you're already totaly ruined . Only a bunch of dunderheads like those would hang around with you ." The Slytherins abruptly stopped laughing and began to look sour . Trentio Gernez , a very tall and sulky boy with fists like hammers flexed his muscles menacingly . Snapes eyes narrowed and he took one step towards Sirius . His lips twitched slightly and he hissed poisonous : "Watch what your saying , Black ...Your trusty little friends are not here to save the day . Think you can manage without that swollen Potter and your precious pup Lupin ?" With these words something inside Sirius burst and a wreckless rage came over him . The boiling anger which had been swelling over the day suddenly exploded . For a moment , he just stood very still , the blood draining out of his head into his heart and giving him a slightly dizzy feeling. Severus took his sudden silence as a sign of retreat and grinned broadly . And then , without a sound , he felt himself being kneeled over and pushed flat to the ground . Sirius grim face appeared over him and two strong hands pressed themself against his throat , slowly tigthening . And then he heard Sirius voice , not more than barely a soft whisper , but as cold as a blade . " Don't you dare ... " Snape writhed furiosly under his grip , but Sirius held on , pressing ever harder . Severus became very red in the face as he clawed every spot of Sirius skin in his reach . " I don't need my friends to hate you as much as you hate me , and I do , belive me . This morning , you got of better , now I would . This is a proper fight one on one , no Slytherins to help you and no foul tricks possible . Too stupid I'm so much stronger than you , right , Severus ?" Sirius said silkily, looking somewhat very amused . He came very close to Snapes face , looking him straight in the eyes without blinking . After a deep silence , only broken by the sounds Severus made in effort to free himself , he flashed him a loopsided smile and went on coldly : " To tell the truth , I could kill you now and I could do it without any help . See , I don't even need my wand to finish you off , it's not difficult to kill a rat like you . I just have to go on like this , until you stop squirming around . " To prove his threat , he tightend his grip and in the strain his kuckles began to turn white . Snape started to choke , his vision becoming more and more misty . Slowly , his hands stoped scratching Sirius arms and fell weakly to his sides. The other Slytherins stood around the two boys, unsure of what to do and also keen to see what would happen . But then , Sirius suddenly took his hands of Severus neck and leaned back , still nailing Snapes body down with his legs . Kneeling on the ground , a dangerous glint in the eyes and sligthly baring his teeth , he looked very much like a wild dog , ready to attack at the slightest sign of danger . Severus laid flat on his back , panting heavily and not moving , as Sirius slowly got up and grabed his bag by the top . He threw a contemptous glance at the Slytherin and said in a bored , imperior drawl : " But I wouldn't be better then you if I kill you . I have my honour , not like you and I will keep it . But I'm only warning you once : Go on like this and insult me or my friends and soon I won't be able to restrain myself . Remus may seem a pup , but he's not and neither am I . Maybe someday we will meet in a dark alley and then we'll see who needs to be safed . " He turned around and left the students , still dangerous , but a graceful winner . He started to walk slowly towards the lake , breathing hard . When the group of students behind him had disappeared out of sight , Sirius stoped and looked up . He felt hot and exhausted and his robes were full of stains , his hands were dirty and little drops of sweat had formed on his forehead . Motionless he stood and watched as the giant squid lazily rose one tentacle out of the water and little waves made their way across the surface . It was a beautiful autumn afternoon and the birds were chasing each other over the quidditch field . Why was he in such a bad mood ? Sirius thought about his day and the things that had gone wrong all week allready . His palms were still itching from the burning hot mistle-liquid in Potions . There was this stupid Defense Against Dark Arts-homework he had to prepare . And then there was HER .... He made a face . No , lets not think about that , he said to himself and pushed his hands through his black hair . Feeling strangely empty but somehow deeply relaxed , he settled down on the gras and stuck his hands in the clear water . It was very cold and soft chills started to spread out over his forearm , as he gazed at the steep sand ground . He suddenly laughed out loud as he remebered the look of confusion on the Slytherin faces . Having seen the spark of fear in Snapes eyes definetly made him feel better . Sirius fell onto his back and closed his eyes , still laughing . The sun was warm and comforted him , as he soon fell into a deep , dreamless sleep ... Kapitel 3: Chapter Three - Secret Crushes and other enlightment ------------------------------------------------------------------ Bitte sehr , der dritte Teil . Ja , bis jetzt war noch nicht sehr viel Sirius/Remus , aber das kommt noch *promise* Ich mag Harriet nicht sonderlich , vielleicht merkt mans *tropf* Aber da sie leider dazu gehoert , muss ich es wohl mit ihr aushalten ... Ihr Nachname passt *fies grins und der armen Harriet den nachnamen auf die Stirn stempel* Muahahahah ! As she ran down the stairs leading to the Gryffindor common room , Harriet Vane impatiently brushed back her blonde hair . She knew she was quite late for her meeting with Remus , because she had spent too much time in the sleeping room , trying out various hairstyles in front of the mirror and not noticing that her watch was going wrong . She grabbed her copy of Defence Against The Dark Arts - A Guide for Intermediate , Volume 5 and pushed aside the painting of the Fat Lady . At the end of the corridor , her friend Anice came towards her , looking extremly tense . " Hold it right there , Harriet ! Where were you during lunch ? I turned down Lily because I thought you would want to sit next to me and then you don't show up . Lily's really hurt and thinks I did it on purpose , do you know how bad I feel because of that ? You are going to tell her that it's actually your fault and that you told me to save you a seat , ok ? She won't believe me , I thought ." Harriet nodded absentminded , glanced at her watch , which was now working properly , and went on down the corridor . " Hey ! Where are you going ? Lily's in the common room and that's the other way ! Harriet , didn't you listen ? Stay here !" The blonde girl stopped and shrugged : " I'm sorry , Anice , but I don't have time to apologise to Lily ! Remus is waiting for me and I'm already terribly late ! Tell her it's all my fault and I'll explain later ." Anice face cleared and she broke into a broad , knowing grin . With a provoking tone she said : " Ohhh , a date with Remus ! I see ... Well , then Lily and I forgive you everything . Now go get him , tiger ! And tell me when the wedding date is , okay ? Bye ." Harriets face turned to a soft rose color and the girl quickly turned around and dashed off . Anice was her best friend and of course she knew perfectly well that Harriet had a major crush on Remus . Now Harriet had found a way to spend some time with Remus , it seemed only a matter of time. A week ago she had asked him if he could help her with all sorts of homework . Today , he was only showing her how to deflex a Whaizcorn curse , but she didn't mind if Anice called it a date . Plus she was deeply hoping her relation with Remus would expand over the homework help . Harriet had liked Remus for a whole while now , but she had never shown it openly because she knew Remus was very shy . But that was one of the things she liked about him too : he behaved decent and civil around other people. But with his four friends , he was one of the worst troublemakers in Hogwarts . Harriet also liked his laugh very much . She liked pretty much everything about him . But she had never been able to lead things on and so their meetings always stayed homework help , not more . Harriet was a very determined girl . If she wanted something , she would get it . Today she was determined to make her move . As she stepped into the peaceful library she immediatly saw her so called date and will-be-boyfriend . Remus was sitting at one of the tables next to a window and staring out on the lake . His face looked thoughtful , a bit melancholic . He wondered if Sirius was still mad at him as he heard someone clearing his throat loudly next to him . As he looked up startled , he saw a blonde girl with bright blue eyes and a rueful face . " I am sooo sorry !" Remus raised his head . " Huh ? ... Hello Harriet . Why are you sorry , what's the matter ?" Harriet turned slightly pink and stuttered : " Oh ... you didn't ..? Wheren't you wai ... oh nothing . I'm here , that's important ." She settled down on a chair next to Remus and went through her mental notes again : Smile at him, start a conversation quickly , listen to what he says , don't talk about other boys . Harriet smiled and cocked her head towards the window . " I feel ready for some Divination . I bet I can guess what you're thinking ! You were just thinking that today's a beautiful day and that no one should be couped up inside with this lovely weather , right ? That's what I'm thinking anyways .. " Remus nodded slowly and politely answered : " Yes , you're right . It is lovely weather ." Inside , he was actually thinking about what he could do to make Sirius forgive him again . Maybe he could buy him a new bag ? But he would have to go to Hogsmeade for that and the next trip was ... " So , shall we start with this stupid curse ?" Harriets voice brought him back from his thoughts . " Oh , yes. I'm sorry , I guess I'm a bit absentminded today . I'll try only focusing for you ." Harriets smile increased instantly , he was focusing on her ! She opened her book and moved over to his side so they could both read . But Remus just couldn't concentrate on Ibrahim Whaizcorn , a medieavel warlock who first pre-formed the Whaizcorn curse . He couldn't help it , his thoughts kept drifting to Sirius and the things he had said this afternoon . Sirius had always been easily annoyed . He tended to explode quickly and always had problems controlling his temper , but he had never shouted at Remus like that before . In the past few days Sirius had behaved a bit unusual in class , but Remus had not worried much about that . Everybody behaved strange when you had to mix goat intestines with dried nettle roots . What he did worry about was Sirius behavior towards him personally . All week long , he had positivly avoided being alone with Remus , not meeting his eyes and not joining in their usual jokes . As he glanced at Harriets eager face next to him , he deeply wondered what was wrong with him that his best friend reacted to him like that . Sirius meant very much to Remus , more than he could say , and this behavior really hurt him . But maybe it was all his fault ... Kapitel 4: Chapter Four - Watch your mouth ... ------------------------------------------------ Mein Lieblingskapitel !!! Ein gemeiner Cliffhaenger , genau das Richtige fuer mich ^.^ Und Snape und Sirius , eigentlich hab ich da eine Slash-chance verpasst *seufz* Naja , kann ja alles nachgeholt werden . Die Harriet-Remus-situation ist typisch fuer Verliebte *fassungslos kopfschuettel* Wie kann man nur so voller Illusionen sein .. Vic Sirius blinked a few times and slowly opened his eyes . It took him a while to remember why he was lying on the lawn in front of the lake . Slowly , the memory of Snape , his insults and the fight came back to him . He started grinning happily and stretched his arms and legs. The short sleep made him feel fresh and relaxed , even though the gras wasn't very soft and dry. As he got up and brushed some grasblades of his bottom , his eyes fell upon a lump at his feet : his bag . Sirius picked it up and remembered how he had shouted at Remus and James and how mad he had been at them. As he recalled Remus terrified face, his bad conscience started to twinge . How could he have been so unfair ? After all , they were his best friends and Remus .. Sirius pushed his hand through his hair and stared at his bag dully . Maybe Remus didn't know why he had dodged him the whole week . Maybe it was totally normal for Remus to do what he was doing and he didn't know how much it hurt Sirius . Maybe he was just interpreting things wrong , Sirius hoped . And James was completly innocent and gave him no reason to shout . Yes , Sirius thought and turned around to walk towards Hogwarts , I really have to apologise to James and Remus . Especially to Remus ... Harriet noticed out of the corner of her eyes that Remus was looking at her very intently and inside , she was feeling unbelievably happy . She incidentally let her fingers through her gorgeous blonde hair and put on a splendid smile . Remus shifted and cleared his throat . " Harriet ?" At once , she turned to look at him . " Yes ?" Oh , how cute , she thought as Remus cheeks turned a bit pink and he started gesticulating . " What do you think of me ?" Wow , how direct , she thought and tried to look innocent . How strange for such a shy boy to make the first step . But all the same , now she had to give the right answer . " Well ... I like you ." Remus stopped his gesticulations and looked at her with interest . " Yeah ? Why do you like me , tell me ." Because you're so cute and I simply love you , Harriet was screaming inside , but outside she blushed slightly and said in her softest voice : " Because you're always so nice and you have a very good character . You're quiet and you're not that good in expressing all your thoughts and feelings too openly , but that's something good. You don't get on peoples nerves by telling them things they don't want to know or that harass them , that's very polite . In class you always seem to know everything , but you don't drag . I like it that you're sometimes a bit akward , because it shows that you're not perfect . You depend on your friends and you're very loyal ." Remus hands dropped and for several minutes he just stared thoughtfuly at the illustration in the book , showing of the effects of a proper Whaizcorn curse . Harriet sat on burning coles as she waited for his reply , fidgeting around with her watch . Remus looked up , looking a bit pale and seeming surprised to see her smiling at him . " So .. I am clumsy ?" She felt like she had been hit with the Stupefyer . Hadn't he understood what she meant to tell him ? Harriet started to stutter : " No , that's not what I wanted to say ... I .. It's .. You're not clumsy ! Look , I like you very much . Would you .. would you be my .. I mean .." There , she had nearly said it , why was it so difficult for her now ? It wouldn't be the first time to ask a boy , but Remus depressed face made her feel uncomfortable . Had she touched a wound spot ? " So he was right ? I'm clumsy and need my friends to stay out of trouble . The only thing I'm good at is learning .." Harriet was totaly harrased . He was thinking she was making fun of him or something like that . This was turning into a nightmare . The whole thing was going in the wrong direction . She had to take radical measures . " No , please , Remus . I .." She sighed . "Would you be my boyfriend ?" Remus stopped dead and looked at her with big , surprised eyes . Now keep going , Harriet , she intoned and smiled helplessly at him . " I mean .. I like you ... and .. Will you ?" Kapitel 5: Chapter Five - James the Bold ------------------------------------------- Ja , ich weiss , eigentlich streiten sich James und Lil , aber da diese Story vor dem Erscheinen des Fuenften Bandes erschien , ist das ja egal . Meine Lieblingsstelle ist MacGonnagalls auftritt *rofl* Ach ja , Schule ... Das Ganze ist doch nur ein Grund fuer alle , sich langsam an das seltsame Paarungsverhalten geschlechtsreifer Grossstaedter ranzutasten ! As James stepped into the Gryffindor common room after lunch , he saw at once Sirius was not here . He had stayed behind after Remus had left for his private lesson with Harriet , waiting for Sirius to turn up for lunch - something Sirius hardly ever missed - , but he had not turned up and instead , James had started to discuss some new quidditch strategies with the rest of the team . For a second , he thought about flying some laps on the field when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and looked right into the startling green eyes of Lily Evans , a beautiful fourth year Gryffindor he was very drawn to . She stiffled a jawn : " Sirius has just been here , looking for you and Remus . Since I had no idea where you were after lunch , I could only tell him that Remus went to the library right after lunch . He made a face at that , muttered something and after a while he shrugged . Then he instructed me to tell you he's really sorry about earlier and he didn't mean what he'd said about you and Remus . I wanted to ask him what had happend , but he had already left the common room at top speed . End of the official report ." James was relieved to hear that Sirius' mood had cleared again . He had seen this thing with Sirius often and knew that once his friend had gotten to think the situation over , everything would turn out fine . Lily jawned again quietly and looked at him with great interest . " What did he do ?" she asked conspirationaly , holding her hand in front of her mouth . James could only smiled at her . It loked really cute how her big eyes became so small and almond-shaped when she jawned . " Oh , nothing important . Live and let live .. When did he leave ?" he asked , taking a quick look at his watch , wondering if he had enough time to see Sirius before the next lesson . " Mhm .. not long ago , maybe five or ten minutes ." Both staid silent for some moments , simply looking at each other . James was asking himself if it would be unpolite to leave Lily this quick . After all , he had feelings for her and knew that she did feel something for him , too ... he hoped . But he also wanted to speak with Sirius and make sure everything was really okay . Lily grinned at him and shook her head . " Oh , go on !" she said huffily , giving James a soft punch in the arm . " You three just can't leave your hands of of each other , right ? As soon as you are seperated for a moment , you all get the measles ..." He answered her grin , trying to look a bit guilty , but failed hopelessly . " You just know me too well !" he sighed , sounding extremly pleased about this fact . He ran out of the common room , but then quickly dashed back . The whole common room gasped as he gave Lily a very small and very brave kiss on the cheek . He grinned breathless and left again . The Fat Lady which still stood wide ajar shook her head and breathed : " These youngsters ..." before she left her frame to tell her friends about the latest action of the notorius James Potter . " What was that for ?" Lily said to nobody special . She was standing in the middle of the Gryffindor common room and in the center of attraction , very confused and very happy . It took James quite a long time to arrive at the library . His thoughts still on Lily and what he had just dared to do , he took a wrong turn twice . He was dying to tell Sirius about his bravery and was getting angry about the staircases , which all seemed to be going the wrong way this very second . Somehow always ended up in front of the second classroom from right on the first floor . The third time he was standing in front of its grey , small door at the end of the corridor , he kicked it several times and cursed loudly . Irritated , Professor Macgonagall opened the door , a sixth years Hufflepuff class of transfiguration looking out of the room behind her . The professor seemed to have been about to do a transfiguration , she had taken off her pince-nez and her black hat and blinked furiously at James . " What is this horrible noise out here ? How shall I hold a proper lesson if ghost are going on havock right in front of my classroom ?! Peeves , I have told you once...wait , you're not Peeves . Who are you ... Ah yes , young Mister Potter !" She pushed some of her black hair behind her ears and sniffed angrily " What on earth are you doing here and why are you mistreating my door ?! First Peeves , now you , am I some kind of Humpty-Dumpty ?! This action will take fifteen points off Gryffindor ! Maybe that will cool your spirits ." And with that , she slammed the door shut again . A suit of armors next to James started cackling gleefuly . Kapitel 6: Chapter Six - Remus , Smoothtalk and other catastrophes -------------------------------------------------------------------- Leftosaa , rightosaa , turn and get a smilu ! Das ist fuer Sany und ihre subtilen Flirt-methoden . Mein tiefes Mitleid an alle , die bereits wieder schule haben . Und Harriet ist ein ziemlich cleveres Ding , haett ich nicht von ihr gedacht ... " Your ... boyfriend ? Me ?" Remus looked at Harriet incredulous . A fly zoomed past his ear , reminding him of one of the muggle flying machines he had seen in London . Those had made an enormous racket too . He stared at her for some time , an uncertain smile spreading over his face : " Oh okay ... This is a joke , right ? You're joking ! Ha ha ..." He looked around , waiting for someone to come out from behind the bookshelves laughing . Harriet blushed . Why was everybody thinking this was a joke ? " No , I'm serious . I really like you ." Oh , this sounded so stupid , she thought , like she was talking to a pet . " Listen , Remus ..." What was wrong ? In her imagination , he would have kissed her already and she would be happily in his arms . How long was he going to wait ? She hesitated for a second and then slowly reached for his hands . " Be my boyfriend . Please ." He stared at her hands dumbfounded . There had to be a catch somewhere , he thought , his mind racing furiously , this was totaly crazy . Why should a girl want him to be her boyfriend ? Him ! But as he looked up into Harriets hopeful blue eyes , he slowly understood that she was indeed serious . Suddenly he felt a flicker of pride inside him . Harriet loved him ! He actually had someone who wanted him . No , don't be silly , Remus , he scolded himself suddenly . She has a simple crush on me , he corrected himself quickly . It's nothing real . He staid silent for some seconds , wondering what to say to her . It was extremely difficult to reject her plea without hurting her feelings , but impossible without giving an explanation that would satisfy her . " Harriet ..." He wanted to clear his throat to make his voice sound more dignified , but started choking . " Er .. well , I'm flattered ... You are .. er .. a really pretty girl ." The words sounded strange refering to her . He had the feeling they weren't meant for her . He felt as though he was lying , which didn't make sense . Harriet was very pretty , he knew that . Still , he felt he was not being truthful . And then he understood that the words simply expressed the wrong meaning , as she started to beam radiantly . Instead of gently rejecting her he was leading her on . He felt as if he was in a strange dream . Harriet felt as if she was in a dream . No , this was more then a dream , this was heaven ! In her dreams , she had always skipped the long part where Remus told her what she meant to him and came right to the important point where he'd say : " I love you more then you will ever know , Harriet ." and wrap her in his arms . This time , he was actually telling her about his feelings in length . As she watched him stutter around , she felt she liked this better then the quick version . Nothing beats the real thing . And there was something else that made her relish the situation even more . Out of the corner of her eyes , she saw how Mavery Venting , a Slytherin girl , and her friends were closely watching them from another table . Mavery and Harriet did not get on extremely well . Both looked alike , blonde with blue eyes and in general the same type with equal likes and dislikes . This should have made them friends , but it was actually the reason they didn't like each other . No stunningly beautiful girl is keen on having a rival . Harriet could not restrain her grin . Mavery was going to go wild ! Winning Remus and defeating Mavery on the same day , what had she done to deserve such luck ? She looked back at Remus with deep satisfaction . He was still struggling to find words , blushing deeper by the minute , and Harriet felt the need to help him ease everything up . Furthermore , if he was quietly talking to her , Mavery couldn't hear anything . She squeezed Remus' hand , causing him to blush even more , and gazed at him affectionately . And then she caught sight of the very thing she needed ... Remus didn't know what to make of Harriets sudden grin . All he had said was how nice it was of her to like him . Over her head , he could make out Madame Pince , the librarian , staring at him suspiciously . If Harriet would start crying when he had finished , Madame Pince was sure to give him the most severe punishment she could think of . Not because of Harriet's hurt feelings , but because of the noise annoyance . Somebody squeezed his hand and he looked into Harriets affectionate face . Before he knew what was happening , she suddenly waved to someone behind him . He hurriedly turned around on his chair to see Sir Nicholas de Mimsey-Porpington drift towards them . Great , now what ? He would have to break Harriets heart in front of the Gryffindor house ghost . Harriet smiled up at Nick and slightly moved to the left , so Mavery would have a good view . " Hello , Sir Nicholas ." " Hello , Miss Vane , Remus . How are we today ?" Remus could only nod , lips clenched . " It must be horrible , learning here while there is such a lovely weather outside ." " Yes , you're right . I said that earlier already , didn't I , Remus ?" Again , Remus lips twitched , but he staid silent , barely nodding . Nearly-headless Nick however did not notice his strange behavior , for his eyes had just fallen on Remus' hand , holding Harriets' . A sudden twinkle in his eyes showed that he had put two and two together . With new interest , he looked at Remus . " But I see you two aren't here to learn ..." Harriet giggled and winked at Nick . " Yes , we had other things to talk about . And now we've cleared everything ." " I see .." he said , grinning mischieviously . " Well done , Remus ! Congratulations both to Harriet and you ! You two make a lovely couple ." With that , he cocked his head to the side and slapped Remus on the back . Panic crept up Remus' spine and that was not because of Nick touching him . Ten minutes ago , he had thought that things could possibly not get any worse . But everything was getting worse ... Kapitel 7: Chapter Seven - Nick gets quizzical : Ghosts and Love don't mix ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Und hier ist schon wieder ein Kapitel ... Dachte , ich bring die FF jetzt endlich mal zum Ende hin , da ich fuer die Matrix-story keine zeit hab und sowieso absolut unter-bezeitet bin . Ich mag den Somber Knight sehr gern , er fasst so ungefaehr meine Liebesphilosophie zusammen *tihihi* Seltsamerweise teile ich aber auch Nicks Ansicht *tropf* Fazit > shizo Ich hatte waehrend ich dies schrieb immer eine Tanz-szene vor Augen ... irgendjemand Lust , ein HP-Musical auf die Buehne zu stellen ? Sirius akwardly treaded from one foot to the other . He stared at the door to the library , willing it to open itself . He dreaded to go inside , dreaded to even touch the doorknob . Yet he half wanted to enter and see him sit there with her as a deadly ill person wants to know which type of virus he has . It was hard for Sirius to apologise to anyone , and it would be even more so with Harriet listening . " Aaaahhh... !" Sirius quickly clapped his hand over his mouth , ashamed that Nearly Headless Nick had given him such a nasty shock . " Oh , sorry , Sirius ." Nick said jovialy and clapped his head on his shoulder , causing Sirius to shudder heavily . " Just heard the good news , you now , very happy ." Sirius didn't understand . " What good news ?" he asked , half hoping the exams had been cancelled or something similiar entertaining . " Oh you know ... You must have known ! I'm sure he told you all , as you four are inseperable !" Somewhere deep in his chest , an uneasy felling settled down as Sirius understood that Nick must be talking about Remus , James or Peter . Nick winked at him and his head wobbled dangerously . He floated down a bit and bent forward confidentialy : " Tell me , did you and Peter pander them ?" So it was not James . That left James and Peter . The thought that something had happened to Remus hurt . " Please , Nick , tell me what , and , more important , who you are talking about !" " Oh you know !" More jovial shoulderclapping . " Not a Gryffindor around who's not to to know .." Sirius had a second to recover from the chills down his spine when the Somber Knight floated by . This was a very grief looking Gryffindor ghost which usually kept to himself . Rumors had it that some centuries ago he had asked the headmaster to move into Ravenclaw because of the Grey Lady . But after this proposal had been rejected , both by the Grey Lady and the headmaster , he had lost his desire to mingle with students . He had in fact lost the desire to do anything at all , except write depressed love poems . Nevertheless , Nearly Headless Nick soared towards him and excitedly pulled him over to Sirius , chatting away loftily . The knight gave Sirius an unusually excited smile and glanced at Nick . " Sir Nicholas has just told me . I must say , this story is nice ..." His expression lightened ( if possible ) . He snipped his fingers . " You know , I just remember something . A couple of Gryffindors in 1719 which married . Don't you remember , Sir Nicholas ? The Montages ?" " Ah yes , I do . Yes , that was lovely ..." The knights smile disappeared as quickly as an unattended chocolate frog . " Of course , love can be terribly painful . One has to be prepared to have his feelings hurt and stamped on . Love makes one go crazy . Heaven is nothing and hell is everywhere ." A little sad flicker passed his face and he flew away into a wall , muttering darkly . Nick scratched his ear , making his head topple . " Poor young fellow ... Never really got over her ." He shrugged . " Wrong decision of him , if you ask me . Plenty of nice dead girls floating around , no need to cry over spilt milk ." Sirius had had enough . Not an hour ago he had resolved to be more patient , but this was sheer torture . " Nick , you're making me go crazy ! What the hell is going on ? I want to know what has happened ! What's the good news ? Who has been pandered ?" " No need to grit your teeth , Sirius , with all the good news ." Nick obviously didn't seem to mind making Sirius go crazy . He gave him a last pat and nodded towards the library door . " Why don't you just go and see for yourself ? You'll understand . I believe that's what you where heading to after all ." He gave Sirius another smile and left down the corridor , humming cheerily . For some seconds , Sirius stared at the library door . Then he shook his head angrily at himself . Why was he so timid ? The door wouldn't bite him as soon as he would touch it ( not this one anyway ) . He breathed in deeply and stepped into the library . At first , he only saw Madame Pince at her desk . She had turned towards him and a strange look was on her thin face . Was she really smiling ? He decided to take this as a good omen and advanced through the bookshelves , searching for the pandered couple . Maybe it was James after all . He knew how much James liked Lily and only thinking that they could now be a couple made Sirius happy . He let his hand run over the cool wood of a bookshelf and turned down into an aisle leading to the windows facing the lake . He caught a fleeting glimpse of the sparkling water before his eyes fell on a blonde head at one of the tables . For a second he was relieved not to see Remus with her , but then he noticed it wasn't Harriet Vane at all , but a pretty Slytherin girl with her friends . He dimly recognized her from class , and was surprised to see her face split up into a furious grimace . The great change was almost scary , it was like watching a Veela being pestered with . Curious to see the reason , Sirius followed her gaze ... Kapitel 8: Chapter Eight - Salt in Sirius' wounds ---------------------------------------------------- So , endlich kommt meine Lieblingsszene *grinz* Ich hab irgendwie mehrere , je nach stimmung . Ach , ja , Copyright des Ganzen ist natuerlich bei J.K. Rowling , aber das wisst ihr ja alle , oder ? Ich wuerde Remus am liebsten knuddeln , weil er mir so leid tut ... aber das wird ja alle snoch schlimmer *hehehehe* Ich bin wirklich gemein zu ihm . Aber das muss so sein ... A bientot , Vic At his table , Remus still stared at Harriet , unable to say anything. This situation was getting out of control . Nick had left , surely telling everyone about them and with Nick as messenger , the news was sure to spread like wildfire . Maybe he could disguise it as a fraud or a joke . But how would he ever be able to get this story past Harriet ? Her hands were still lying heavy in his , but he didn't dare to move them . Akwardly , he said : " Harriet ... I .. need to tell you something ." Harriet looked so serene , so blissful , so happy that he couldn't continue . He would never be able to look her in the eyes again . And even worse , nobody would understand that he didn't like her . Everyone would give him the blame if Harriet was gloomy . He nearly lost himself in dark thoughts , but Harriet suddenly nodded to someone behind him and said " Oh look , there's someone for you ." Remus surpressed a sigh , begining to feel ashamed . He really didn't want to explain this to James . Reluctantly , he turned around . But it was not James . Sirius was standing at one of the tables , staring at them . Remus' temperature changed from boiling hot to icy-cold . All color had been drained from Sirius' face , leaving it as white as chalk . There was something of a vampire in his empty stare ... Harriet had never been very close with Sirius . There was something in the way he treated her when Remus was close that made her feel uneasy . But now , she felt invincible . That's why she had greeted him openly . Now that she was Remus' girlfriend , they would have to get along . " Sirius .." Remus stammered , but Harriet quickly took over . She smiled placidly , beckoning him forward . " Hello , Sirius ! Come and give us your blessing ." Sirius slowly came to life again , taking a step towards them . His eyes traveled to the table and fell on Remus' hands , which were clutched around Harriets . He stopped dead . All his blood seemed to rush back into his head . His eyes met Remus' for a second and without another word , he left the library . At the door , he violently pushed Madame Pince aside , causing her to noisily tumble into a heap of books . This was more then Remus could stand . Hastily he pushed his chair away and jumped up . " Hey !" Harriet cried , gripping his hands tighter . " Where are you going ?" " Sirius .. I ... need to ..." Remus choked , but she didn't let go and asked irritable : " Yes , what happened to him ? His behaviour was pretty offending ..." " Harriet , please let go ! I need to leave ..." " All right , all right ." She dropped his hands , sounding slightly hurt . " But before you leave .." Her expression broadened and she put on her most dazzling smile . " ... please give me a kiss and tell me you love me ." " Harriet ..." He hesitated , looking from her to the door , which was still swinging slightly in its hinges . Sirius was a very fast runner , he probably wouldn't be able to catch up with him if he wasted any more time .Who was more important , Harriet or Sirius ? Within a second , his decision was made . " Harriet .. I'm sorry . I don't love you . I think you are a wonderful girl , but I don't love you ." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and darted towards the door . Madame Pince was still rambling around in a bookpile while students where milling around , pretending to try and help her . Now he had said the truth , Remus felt a huge weight being lifted of his shoulders . Yet it was only being replaced by an even larger one . Of course Sirius was nowhere to be seen outside the library . He was really fast on his feet . Indecisive , Remus first ran down the left coridor , then changed his mind and went back , only to turn around again after a minute and take the corridor in the middle . James had been halfway down a staircase when a group of three milkmaids in a painting stoped him . Once they had helped him with a homework in History of Magic and apart from their giggling , James enjoyed talking to them sometimes . The girls had just been visited by the Fat Lady and were now anxious to know if she had been telling the truth . James let them question him endlessly and everytime he gave a curt answer , there was a fresh burst of giggles . Engaged in the conversation , he half missed Sirius storming past him . It was too late when he called out for him , Sirius was long gone . One of the milkmaids asked surprised : " What troubles him ?" " I don't know . He's been a bit emotional all week ..You have to treat him sensitive sometimes . " This caused the paintings to giggle . In a hushed voice , they squealed : " Oh , treat him sensitive ! There's another one !" James laughed goodheartedly : " What do you mean ? Another one ?" The milkmaids wouldn't say any more , but dropped veiled hints and giggled all the more . It was then that Remus came running down a neighboured staircase . " Hey , Remus !" James called and the milkmaids chimed in . Remus came to the landing : " James ! What are you doing her ?" " I was actually looking for Sirius and you . I need to tell you what I did .." The milkmaids grinned knowingly . " This is really worth listening ." they called out to Remus . " Have you seen Sirius yet ?" Remus asked , not listening . " He just came flying past me , but he didn't see me . Anyways , guess what ..." " Which direction ?" " Up .." James was irritated by being cut off so directly . Didn't any of his friends want to know about the kiss ? " Move aside , James , I'm coming ." Without thinking , James stepped aside , but then he understood what Remus meant to do . " Wait ! What the hell are you doing , this is too .." But Remus had already taken a run-up and jumped clear over the landings onto the steps where James had just stood . The milkmaids stared at him with big eyes and muttered impressed . " .. Dangerous ." James lamely finished , raising his brows . " What is the matter ?" " Thank , James . Bye ." And with that , Remus was up the stairs . James shook his head sadly and imitated the Fat Lady , giving the three maids yet another reson to giggle . " These youngsters ..." Kapitel 9: Chapter Nine - Dropping the silence ... after all this time ------------------------------------------------------------------------ So , dies ist das Ende ... und ich hoffe , dass es euch gefaellt ! Fuer diese Szene hab ich nicht lange gebraucht , denn wie eine gewisse Excessa Malvers sagte , Dreams are sweet and give off a faint impression of reminescence .. Liebe ist faszinierend , und Liebende sind es erst recht , besonders ungleiche Paare *cheers to us queer people* Liebeserklaerunge sind extrem anstrengend *g* und produzieren die lustigsten Missverstaendnisse , insofern Viel Glueck beim Versprechen ( D. : Ich liebe dich , Susi .. aeh , Jenny *tropf*)Und das naechste Projekt ist jetzt erst mal schoen viel Unsinn , suche Co-writer !!! Coming to theatres soon : Die Chroniken des Smith ! Devoted to those that felt my love and whose love I was granted to expirience - Merry Meets ! As always , the only eternal thing in my life is you , Haruka . Let me be eternal too .. Nyu , Vica / Mizuna Remus quietly crept up the stairs to the owlery . There was someone up there and he had a feeling that it was Sirius . As he silently pushed open the trapdoor and slipped into the high , darkening room , he saw a boy standing at one of the windows the owls used to leave the tower . The boys shoulders were shaking and he made small sobing sounds . Remus squinted through the everlasting semi-darkness of the owlery . " Sirius ..?" The boy turned around quickly. Yes , it was Sirius , his black hair untidy . Seeing him startled Remus . Why on earth was he crying ? Gently he took a step towards him , but Sirius backed away . " No, go away ! Go ! I don't want to see you ..." Sirius voice was very shaky . One moment , Remus pondered if he should do as Sirius said and really leave him alone for a while , but then he noticed that he was doing it again . He was following other peoples orders without thinking about it and deep inside he knew he didn't want to leave Sirius now . So Remus shook his head , gathering all his strength for the answer and said loudly : " I won't go away ! Not until I know what's wrong ! You can't force me ..." After he had said it , he felt a sense of pride inside him . There , he could stand up to his friends . He had a will of his own . He could be strong , he could help them on his own . Sirius was very hot in the face , tears slowly drying on his ruddy cheeks . He was trying his best to get out of this situation , but Remus just didn't leave. He hated it that Remus had seen him crying . Why was Remus able to make him feel so vulnerable ? No one else could hurt him , not Snape , not the teachers , not even James . And now Remus came along with no idea and demanded to talk to him , not even able to imagine the great power he had over Sirius . Slowly , Sirius gained back power over his voice and said harshly : " Leave me alone , Remus ! Just .. leave me alone , okay ? Go back to your girlfriend !" The last sentence had somehow slipped out and Sirius felt how new tears were swelling in his eyes . Remus stood very still , gazing imploringly at his best friend . All around him , owls were hooting , not very amused about two boys shouting at each other in the middle of their nights sleep . He could just spot their reflecting eyes watching them closely . Sirius anguished tone and hurt expression confused him . " What ? My girlfriend ..? What are you talking about ?" he asked quietly . Sirius folded his arms , fighting back the tears . " You know what I mean ! .. Harriet Vane ." Mentioning the name brought a fresh surge of humiliation down on him . He had never felt so bad and just wished he could leave this place to never see Remus or her again . But he knew he couldn't stand the thought of never seeing Remus again . Quickly he turned his face away from Remus , pleading that he would just leave , but Remus did not leave . Sirius heared his restless breath and then his strangled voice . " She's not my girlfriend ..." Remus suddenly understood . Now everything made sense to him : Sirius strange behaviour and how he had shouted at him , his bad mood and the crying . He marveled at his own blindness . It had been there all the time but he had never noticed . For a second , everything silenced and Remus felt like he had been hit with a great axe . Why had he never thought of Sirius' feelings ? His heart fell and he too had the great urge to sit down and cry . Sirius was his best friend , what was he to do ? What he always did , he would step aside , be quiet and keep his friends . Biting his lip , he watched Sirius and shivered slightly . Why was it so cold suddenly ? " Sirius , please look at me ... Harriet is not my girlfriend ." Sirius hastily turned around , but he hesitated to look at Remus , who had started talking in a strangely calm voice . " I'm .. I'm sorry , Sirius . I didn't mean to hurt your feelings , I just didn't know about them ..." he paused , his voice shaking slightly , and wispered " .. but I understand them ." Sirius head jerked up and he stared at Remus . Could this be true ? Could this really be happening ? In dreams , he had imagined this , yet he had been so sure it would never happen . " Please believe me , I don't love her . I'm sorry that I spent so much time with her , but .. well .. " Silent tears started streaming down Remus' cheeks and he quickly wiped them away , going on : " .. I didn't know that you love Harriet ..." " What ?!" Sirius cried , somehow feeling extremely exhausted . He was not used to cry and his head was starting to hurt . All this emotion made him dizzy . " I don't love her !!!" Remus frowned . For a couple of seconds , he didn't move , then suddenly stuttered : " But .. but why are you .. ?" " I love you , stupid !" Sirius froze . He had said it . He had said it aloud . He had said IT to Remus . This can not be happening , Sirius thought dazed . This is a dream or something . The three words he had been dreading to say for a very long time . The one thing he had decided never to tell Remus had just come out of his mouth . Plus he had called Remus stupid . Not the best thing to add to a declaration of love . This is so weird , Sirius thought numbly , fighting to move his lips and give some logical explanation. A sunstroke sounded quite reasonable . Or maybe a very late hangover from too many butterbeer in Hogsmeade . Or the last effects of goat intestine . Remus froze . He had said it . Sirius had said it . He had said IT to him . This can not be happening , Remus thought dazed . This is a dream or something . The three words he would never have the courage to say aloud , which he had been hoping to hear from Sirius for a very long time . And all because of Harriet . This is so weird , Remus thought numbly , fighting to move his lips and give some appropriate answer . " You .. you love me ?" Presumably for the first time in his life , Sirius blushed . Even though it was the thruth , he had the mad desire to scream "No!" . Now that he had said it aloud , he saw clearly what his feelings meant . They were absolutely crazy . How could he ever expect Remus to feel the same ? But if he was not ment for Re-mus , then why did his heart tell him that he was ? " You love me ." Remus lips started to tremble . In horror , Sirius closed his eyes , hoping to just block out reality . " I ... I'm ..well , I ..." But before Sirius could say anymore , he felt a finger gingerly stroke his cheek . With one swift step Remus had come closer , suddenly standing right in front of him . He could clearly see the swelling emotions inside Sirius eyes , shame , fear and anger . Wordlessly , he ran his fingers along Sirius' hot face , following the trace of a falling tear . He took a deep breath and did the bravest thing he had ever done : Slowly , he lent forward and kissed Sirius softly . The moment their lips touched , Sirius' knees buckled . The ground beneath his feet seemed to shake and give away . But even if the whole owlery tower would have collapsed right underneath him , he would not have cared . He had never felt completeness like this ... ~ ~ ~ Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)