I Hate you! von abgemeldet ================================================================================ Disclaimer: Not mine Warning: Slash Rating: PG 13 Thanks go to Lacey my wonderful Beta. And to everybody who reviewed my stories. Hug you all!!! I hate you With every single fibre of my heart I hate the way you walk I hate the way my heartbeat quickens when you're around I hate the way your hair falls into your eyes I hate the way everybody loves you I hate the way you treat me I hate feeling like dirt under your shoes I hate your superior way I hate the way you're respected I hate your blindness I hate myself for being weak I hate you for making me weak I hate you but To hate someone you have to have loved him first Draco stood up with a deep sigh, and stored the parchment into his nightstand drawer. He sealed it carefully with a locking spell and left the Slytherin dormitory in order to go down for dinner. It was time to attend yet another long dinner where he would look out for his arch rival his personal itch that he somehow could not get rid of. He cursed under his breath and pulled himself together it was time for another perfect acting session. He entered the great hall surrounded by an air of confidence which profoundly concealed his true state of emotion. He felt the despair boiling inside of him, the emptiness which was his true companion - not Crabbe and Goyle his two henchmen. He sometimes felt sick in their company, because their stupidity was more than he could bear. Little did they know that he would rather spend his time alone up on the rooftop, staring down onto the grounds of Hogwarts. Only then did he feel some kind of freedom. And now he was 17 and in his last year at Hogwarts, his marriage to Pansy Parkinson was already planned, and nobody had even bothered to ask them, he felt as if he was suffocating and screaming at the top of his lungs in a room full of people, but nobody could hear him... Sitting at the table watching the food appear onto the plates, he felt the familiar prickling sensation of someone watching him. He lifted his head; his eyes kept the sadness for a moment lingering and met the eyes of Harry Potter. Immediately he regained his haughty looks which disguised his true feelings so well, and sneered towards Potter who just shook his head and turned away. Pansy had witnessed the whole scene and felt a pang of familiar pain inside her heart. Although she had loved Draco dearly and was more than happy when their marriage was arranged, she had come to realize that Draco not more than respected her, and it tore her apart to imagine the life they would live. Of course Draco would always be the perfect gentlemen and would treat her with kindness, but she wanted more from life and on top of it all she wanted him to happy. After dinner, she stepped into his room and sat down in the corner of the window. She had a suspicion and she wanted Draco to confirm what she had suspected all along. As he entered the room she could not avoid thinking that he was the most beautiful man she had seen in her whole life and her insides seemed to be pulled together painfully. He had changed so much throughout the last year it was hard to put it into words. Draco had grown up. He was of lean build and had an overall toned body, which came from a lot of Quidditch practice; his hair was no longer gelled back, but fell like a curtain of silver around his angular face with the aristocratic features, the full lips, and the haunting eyes which resembled pools of mercury. He stretched and jumped slightly as he noticed Pansy on the window sill. "What do you want my dear?" was his question "Have you ever felt like you were in the middle of a room screaming on the top of your lungs and nobody notices?" Pansy asked quietly. Draco's eyes widened in surprise, "You too???" She nodded sadly, "Do you know that I was the happiest witch on earth, when our parents announced our betrothal?" "But what's wrong with that, you know I will marry you!" "Yes but you will never love me, and that is the reason why I am here to ask you how this could have happened." "What do you mean?" "You know what I mean, I ask you only once, do you love him??" Draco stumbled backwards and came to sit down on the bed, he looked at her with astonishment. "WHO on earth are you talking about??" "Oh come on I know that you look at him with disdain, but at the same time you are not able to hide that sadness in your eyes, when he has hurt you again." "Once again who are you talking about?" "I talk about Harry of course, and do not even try to convince me that you do not love him, because for such a look from your eyes I would have done everything!" Pansy cried silently, and Draco moved uncomfortably in his seat, "Why are you doing this to yourself?" he asked quietly, "Why do you torture yourself by asking me that? Would it help you to know that I indeed feel something for the golden boy?" "It would help me to know that you at least try to gain some happiness. What use is it if both of us suffer from unrequited love??" "Pansy..." Draco looked as if he was about to cry. "Oh no don't you start on me like that!" She said with tenderness in her voice that betrayed her own feelings; she stood up and pulled him into a tight embrace. "It is not wrong to love someone, one thought to hate, it is wrong not to admit that the feelings have changed!" She said with a brave smile and hugged him; Draco responded to that with a kiss on her forehead and said in earnest. "You deserve someone who loves you with all his heart; and all I can offer you is my friendship." "Which is more than I would have expected; and now go and do something about Harry!" Draco left the dormitory with the poem he had written earlier in his fist. With long strides he reached the Quidditch locker room fairly quickly. Before thinking too hard about what he was doing, he put the poem along with a note into Harry's locker. He disappeared quickly; as he heard the Gryffindors enter the room. Harry opened his locker and saw the parchment, without thinking he took it and hid it under his clothes, he did not want any of his friends to see the note and question him about it. When everybody was gone he pulled it back out and read it. I hate you With every single fibre of my heart I hate the way you walk I hate the way my heartbeat quickens when you're around I hate the way your hair falls into your eyes I hate the way everybody loves you I hate the way you treat me I hate feeling like dirt under your shoes I hate your superior way I hate the way you're respected I hate your blindness I hate myself for being weak I hate you for making me weak I hate you but To hate someone you have to love him first I guess you know who I am, if you want to find me, find me tonight. I will wait for you. Harry felt his heartbeat quicken, it was not possible was it? Of all people, would he, no he would not! But in order to figure that out he would have to meet him tonight. When everybody was fast asleep, he pulled out the marauders map and solemnly swore that he was up to no good. When he spotted the small dot named Draco Malfoy in the deserted astronomy tower, his heartbeat quickened even more. With his invisibility cloak he ran towards the tower, and entered it quietly. Draco lay on his back his eyes closed, and he seemed to be dreaming, because a tender smile was upon his lips. Harry knelt down besides him and whispered: "God you are so beautiful when you smile like that." Without answering Draco opened his eyes and smiled at Harry: "I did not believe you would come!" "Well here I am and do not believe I will let you go like this!" "Why is that a threat??" "Draco I do not threat, I promise!" And with that Harry pulled Draco into a searing kiss. His lips locked with Dracos, and caressed them with a sweetness that Draco had not imagined in his wildest dreams. His tongue flickered over his lips toying with him, making him moan under his touch, he bit down on his bottom lip, drawing blood which he sucked gently; Draco pulled Harry down onto him, making full body contact, touching him. "Oh god, you set me on fire!" His pale hands sneaked under Harry's shirt touching the tanned skin. Harry started to lick Draco's face and discovered him with his mouth. When he returned to his mouth he was welcomed into the warmth and the wetness of Draco's mouth. He could not suppress a moan, "I want you". Draco smiled. "I want you too, I have wanted you ever since I stopped fighting against my feelings, but I thought... " "You thought I hated you, but I did not. I wanted to kiss you and touch you and smell you and I wanted you to touch me and make me scream with pleasure, I wanted to be in your arms and I wanted to feel what It would be like to be inside of you." Harry was silent again, Draco smiled and said:" Weird isn't it? There we hated each other, fighting and bickering, and all along it was not hatred but..." "Frustration because the one I loved seemed to despise me so much, but you know what?" "What?" "Your eyes gave you away last summer!" "What??!!" "Yes when I left Hogwarts last summer, for my final battle, the last thing I saw was your face, and your eyes told me something different than your sneer, and ever since I hoped that you would find the courage to tell me." Draco's thoughts raced back to the last summer, it was right, when Harry had left he had watched him, his face had born the usual sneer, but his eyes had been full of sorrow, anxiety and undying love, and he had prayed that Harry had seen behind the frown, obviously he had done so. "Penny for your thoughts!" Harry's voice came through to him; "I was just thinking that you had been able to see me, thank god for that!" "You know I had made up my mind to ask you, but you were quicker than me, and I am glad about it, because I am not good with feelings!" "Hey neither am I, but this one feeling I am sure about" "And that would be??" "Want to guess?" Draco smiled that beautiful genuine smile that Harry had only discovered half an hour ago, "No need to guess, you love me, as much as I love you, and you know since when I knew that I loved you??" "No, I loved you when I saw you standing there at the train station, and you?" "I loved you from the moment our hands touched the first time, and I will always love you!" Each "I hate you" was meant as an "I love you" but we just could not see it, until now. Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)