Senseless von Leya ================================================================================ Kapitel 20: ------------ Disclaimer: Not mine. Finally! I've made it! The last chapter (sighs) Thank you all for following this rather confusing story to the end. I'm sure some of you expected another ending but it was the only one that worked for me^^ -*-*- Senseless 20 -*-*- -Krad! Damn it! Wait!- Satoshi followed his demon while Krad tried his best to avoid him. -KRAD!- Finally Satoshi approached him and by grabbing his wrist he turned him around rather forcefully. -Is it a new trick? Something you can use to destroy me?- Krad didn't answer. He seemed to be so exhausted and desperate Satoshi had never seen him before. Suddenly he felt a twinge of pity in his heart but squashed it quickly. No need to pity someone as cruel as this demon. He deserved everything he got. -Explain it to me.- =There's nothing to explain. I'm offering you a solution. Take it or leave it. I won't repeat what I told you.= Anger flashed in the eyes of the blue-haired boy and Krad knew he was loosing his temper quickly. He only needed to provoke him a little more. =And I thought you would be happy to get rid of your worst nightmare.= -You lied to me. You betrayed me. You 'hurt' me.- =You're repeating the same things over and over again. It's getting old.= Satoshi clearly was at a loss for words and Krad's features softened. But he couldn't allow himself to show weakness. When he wanted to help Satoshi he needed to be strong and cold. Inhuman. =I'm sorry. I never meant to do you any harm.= Krad mocked in a playful tone and found himself rewarded with a look full of hate and disgust. =You nearly killed me, Sato-chan. Don't you think I'll ever forget!= -SHUT UP!- Satoshi yelled at him and Krad knew he had won. -You only got what you deserved!- =I never said I didn't deserve it.= Krad admitted to himself, too low for Satoshi to hear. -I hate you.- =I know.= Before Satoshi had a chance to answer a slightly malicious smile spread on the handsome features of the demon and before Satoshi knew what was about to happen, he grabbed his collar and leaned in to bring his mouth next to his ear. =I think it's time for you to wake up.= -No! We're not finished...!- Satoshi cried out but it was too late. Something hit his mind and the world went black. -*-*- "Hey!" Satoshi blinked in confusion when he opened his eyes only to find Dark staring down at him. "What happened?" "You lost consciousness. I was worried about you." The thief caressed his face with gentle movements and frowned when the blue-haired boy slapped his hand away and pushed himself upright. "No need to fuss over me! I'm not sick." Satoshi threw him a annoyed glance and waited impatiently until the dizzy feeling in his head faded away. Then he swung his legs out of the bed and stood up. "I remember exactly what I have done." Dark only stared at him with unbelieving eyes, a shudder running down his spine. Something was wrong. Why was Satoshi acting as if he was still wearing the ancient amulet? So cold and cruel? Too lost in his thoughts Dark nearly missed the next words the boy directed at him. "Give it to me." "Pardon?" "The pendant. Give it to me. I need it." Satoshi insisted and held out his hand. "You need it? What for?" "To end this useless struggle once and for all." Satoshi turned his gaze inwards but Krad didn't stir the slightest bit. Since he made his decision the demon seemed to be... relieved. But why would Krad feel like this when he was about to be sealed away? =Because I don't want to hurt you ever again. And I would. Sooner I later I would hurt you and I don't want this to happen. Take your chance. At the moment I'm too weak to fight against you.= -At least this time you're honest.- An wave of guilt and shame washed over him. The boy couldn't believe it. Since when was Krad actually able to 'feel'? =I never said I had no feelings.= The demon told him surprisingly shy and again Satoshi had to fight the pity he felt rising in his heart. "Satoshi? Why do you need the amulet?" The worried tone of Dark's voice interrupted his current train of thought and brought him back to reality. "He offered me a way to get rid of him. When I seal him inside the amulet I will be free." Silence rose between the two young men and finally Dark's eyes widened in shock. "NO!" He grabbed Satoshi's shoulders and shook him violently. "No! Krad, don't! Are you suicidal? You stupid fool!" "He won't listen to you." Satoshi admitted in a low voice and lowered his gaze. It was too difficult for him to stand the desperation that was clearly written in the thief's eyes. "We... I don't know how to tell you... It's better for us to separate. There are too many things that happened between us. None of us could forgive to other. There's no trust, no understanding. We will never be able to live in harmony like you and Daisuke do." Dark was at a loss for what to say. His heart wrenched at the thought of loosing Krad once again and, what was even worse, this time forever. Why would the demon do something stupid like that? /Because he isn't as cold and inhuman as everyone thought. Don't you see the truth? He's sacrificing himself for Satoshi. And for you./ //But... No! I won't... I can't... It's impossible! He can't! What will I do when he's gone?!// Dark knew he made no sense but he couldn't help it. His whole life had been turned upside down and he was more than confused. He was completely lost. /So I guess you have found your answer?/ //Huh?// Daisuke's smile was almost invisible although he felt as if his heart was breaking. It hurt, but it had to be done. /Do you remember when I asked you whom I love more and you told me, you don't know? Seems as if you've finally found your answer./ Shocked silence showed that his words were sinking in. Dark blinked several times, obviously lost in thought. For Krad it never had been easy. All his life he was treated like crap and the moment he thought he finally found someone to share his life with... memories of the night when he had killed him came to his mind and suddenly he knew the right answer. It was so easy he couldn't believe he didn't see it before. /Have you found your answer, yet?/ //Yes.// Now it was the thief's turn to throw his alter ego a sad smile. //I can't understand why I have been so blind.// /Centuries of guilt and self-loathing can be quite blinding./ Dark threw him a rather unfriendly look and snorted. //Really, Daisuke. This is not the time for joking.// /I know. Sorry. It's only because I don't know how to handle this situation./ The boy admitted and fought helplessly against the tears suddenly stinging in his eyes. /Do you really think it's the right decision?/ //Daisuke, please. I thought about it and it's the only way to...// /It's alright, Dark. I understand./ Now Daisuke's eyes were definitely swimming in tears but nonetheless he smiled at his alter ego. No, his friend, he corrected in his thoughts, feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the events of the past few hours. Dark seemed to feel just the same because he was still trying to justify his decision to Daisuke. //I've failed him so many times before, Dai-chan. I can't let it happen again. He's not the only one who's guilty.// The red-haired boy gave up his useless attempts to suppressed his tears and embraced the thief's mind with his own. There was one thing he needed to tell the thief. He was sure the other one would understand. /I'm sure Krad will be absolutely delighted to find a knight in a shining armour at his side./ Dark laughed and Daisuke felt a little bit better. Whatever happened now, Dark knew what he really felt. He made a decision and Daisuke respected it. He was happy for him. Even if it meant to lose him. The next moments passed in silence. There were so many things he wanted to tell the boy but he didn't know where to begin. Dark inhaled thoughtfully and decided to let it be. It was futile. There wasn't enough time left. So he only shrugged and patted his back. Daisuke sniffled one more time and asked in a low voice. /Are you sure?/ //Yes. It's what I've always wanted. To be with him. I just didn't see it.// /I'm glad for you./ The boy swallowed hard but nonetheless managed an encouraging grin. /Even if it's tearing me apart I'll help you./ Dark accepted Daisuke's generous offer with relief. //Thank you, Daisuke. You won't regret it..// /But I already do./ The boy whispered to himself, inaudible for the thief to hear. Loud he said. /Don't make promises you cannot keep. It's hard enough the way it is./ //I know.// With one last pat Dark freed himself and turned his attention back to the outside where Satoshi waited, obviously talking to his demon like Dark had talked to Daisuke. "I'm not leaving him. When you seal him I'm going with him." "WHAT?!" Satoshi cried out, deeply shocked. "Why?" "Because..." Dark took a step nearer and cupped Satoshi's face with his hands. "Because I love him. I love you, too. But Krad... this is something special... I'm so sorry but I can't live without him. Even the mere thought of losing him is killing me." "Then you're choosing him over me. Again." Satoshi stated in a bitter tone, defeat and hopelessness written clearly in his eyes. "It was all for nothing." Dark cringed at his words but stood his ground. "I love you both and for a long time I didn't know what to do. But when you told me what you've planned... I can't live without him. Not again. All those centuries we were fighting, all I've wanted was to be with him. To be near him. It was my fault he was condemned to live his life as a demon. I'm the one who betrayed him. I took his future and gave him nothing in return. I can't run anymore." Finally reluctant understanding rose in Satoshi's eyes, but still he refused to accept the truth. "But I love you. Everything I've ever done I've done for you. Don't tell me it was only a game for you." "No! It wasn't a game! Don't you ever think that!" Dark placed a gentle hand on Satoshi's chin and tilted his head up. "I'm so sorry, Satoshi. I've made mistake over mistake and now you're the one to pay for it." Satoshi blinked several times to get rid of the tears that were actually blurring his vision. "I'm sorry, Dark." Nothing more, nothing less. But somehow it was enough. "I know. I'm sorry, too." Dark smiled sadly and embraced the shivering boy in front of him carefully. "You are a wonderful person. You deserve someone better than me." "I love you too." Satoshi whispered nearly inaudible and buried his face in Dark's shirt. He wasn't sure if he was able to let the thief go but Dark gently entangled himself and stepped back. Then his gaze met the eyes of the boy but Satoshi knew he didn't see him at all. The thief's attention was concentrated on the demon shifting restlessly inside his mind. "I'm going with you whether you like it or not." Krad sighed in defeat and to his own astonishment Satoshi initiated their change. Finally the demon stood in front of the thief, his body still covered in bruises, his wings tattered, a look of pain and hurt in his eyes that nearly made Dark cry. "I don't understand. I thought you love Satoshi. I'm going out of your way, you stupid fool! You're insane! Why can't you simply take the present I'm offering? Why does you have to play the hero again?= "Will you shut up and listen for once in your life?!" Dark yelled in sudden annoyance and grabbed the demon by his collar to drag him nearer. They looked at each other for several moments before the thief captured Krad's trembling lips in a passionate kiss. When they broke apart both were panting heavily. "Do you believe me now? I love you. I always have. But I was too proud to admit it." =I think it's time to go.= Krad admitted to himself, giving Satoshi an incredulous smile. -Yes.- He waited several moments and added softly: -Goodbye.- A sharp lance of agony ripped through his insides, taking his breath away and leaving him weak and defenceless. Blue eyes full of guilt and sorrow watched in silent wonder as the transparent form of the demon manifested in front of his eyes. A soft cry to his right told him, Dark had done the same. Daisuke said nothing. He only stared at the thief, silent tears running down his cheeks. =Satoshi...= There were so many things he wanted to tell him but there wasn't left enough time. The demon sighed and decided to let it be. There was no way in hell he let Satoshi know how frightened he actually was. So instead of talking he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Satoshi's lips. =Never forget how much I love you.= Without looking back Dark held out his hand and when Krad took it, a loving smile spread on his lips. They looked at each other for several moments before they touched the surface of the amulet with their joined hands. //I won't leave you. Never again.// =I know. Thank you.= A blinding flash of light and they were gone. Satoshi collapsed on the floor, his face wet with tears and suddenly he felt a warm body covering him from behind. "I never..." Satoshi tried to explain what he felt but failed miserably. For the first time in his life Satoshi understood why the demon had acted the way he did. Now it was him who was lonely and frightened. Since Krad disappeared an important part of his soul seemed to be missing. Something he never knew it even existed. "I know it hurts." Daisuke whispered into his ear and held him close. They clung together like two frightened children, before Satoshi freed himself and looked at the amulet in the palm of his hand. "Why does it hurt so much? I hated him..." Satoshi didn't understand, this much was clear. Daisuke carefully placed his arm around his shoulders and drew him into an comforting embrace. "Because he was a part of your soul. Even if you never believed it." For a long time Satoshi said nothing at all. When he finally spoke, his voice was deeply grieved and full of self-reproach. "I shouldn't have done this." He let the pendant dangle in front of his eyes, back and forth in a slow, menacing rhythm. "It's too late to change your mind." Daisuke grabbed his hand and forced him to look up. "He loved you. In his own twisted way he loved you. It may hurt but it will be alright." "I'm not so sure, Daisuke. How can it ever be 'alright'? I've made so many mistakes...." "Shh..." Daisuke placed his index finger on the boys lips, preventing him from talking. "Don't. No need to feel guilty. It was Krad's own decision and you have no right to make his sacrifice useless." "But you've lost Dark!" He closed his eyes for a brief moment and added: "I've lost him." "Dark's happy now. He and Krad loved each other even when they were not able to admit it." Daisuke knew this was hurting the other boy but he couldn't help it. Satoshi needed to understand. The sooner the better. "Sooner or later he would have left you. As far as I remember Krad was the only one who was able to reach his heart. All the other ones he had were only a pastime." Again Satoshi closed his eyes and let his head fell against the other boy's shoulder. "How can you be so cruel?" "Because it won't help when you're crying for someone you never had. It would kill you and you don't deserve it." The red-haired boy reassuringly patted Satoshi's back. "Your past was sad enough. It's time to look forward." "How does it come you're so wise?" Daisuke stroked the soft blue hair and shrugged indifferently. He thought of the thief and smiled. "I don't know. Maybe I had a good teacher." "Hmm..." Satoshi dozed off, clearly too exhausted to answer. Daisuke continued on stroking his hair and smiled warmly at the relaxed boy in his arms. The future would show if it had been the right thing to do. Until then all they could do was wait. And live. END Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)