Full Moon von abgemeldet ================================================================================ Full Moon I can feel the pain. It's inside of me. I'm going to transform. My eyes are closed. No, I don't want to see me transforming. This is not me. It's a bloody monster, taking hold of my body. My body, full of scars, full of marks which remind me non-stop of the terrible monster I am once a month. I told Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs to stay away. I know, they've become Animagi to support me, but today, I don't want them to see me. I just don't want anybody to see me. My parents died yesterday. Voldemort killed them. They were Aurors and fought against him. The others asked me a bunch of questions I answered, merely listening. They know why I want, no, why I need to be alone. I know that I'm going to lose control when I'm.. well, when the transformation is over. I'm always quiet, the responsible one of the marauders, but now, the only thing I want to do is scream. Maybe the horrible pain deep in my heart will stop for one damn moment... All of sudden, the pain comes back. My bones are growing. I'm screaming, cold sweat is running down my pale face. I don't know, whether I'm able to bear this once again... Bushy fur covers my body, which is not mine anymore. And now I'm losing control. I start to destroy every single chair in the room, bite and scratch myself, unable and also unwilling to stop it. I start to howl, knowing my friends will hear my howls of grief, but I don't care, because I want to get rid of this horrible pain, because I want to forget! I'm not sure, how long I'll be able to do this unlikely things. I can hear my breath. It's fast and irregular. I feel dizzy. The room is moving. Damn, why is this bloody room moving?! Seconds later, everything's getting dark. I barely feel the pain as I hit the ground, then I faint... I slowly open my eyes. Everything around me is white and the terrible smell of disinfectant lies in the air. My cheeks are wet and I'm shaking as if I had a fit or something like that. My body is covered with bandages and every part of it hurts horrible. My breath goes slowly and I'm once again close to tears. I blink shortly before I sit up. Why...? Why was he here? I didn't expect him to be here! He should be in the dormitory, sleeping! "You need to get some rest, Moony", he says, still staring at me as if I was a little porcelain doll which could break. But we both know, it's too late to worry about it. I am already broken by the transformations I have to deal with since I was five years old... "Moony, please", he whispers again, in a trembling voice, but I don't move. I can feel every single bone in my chest. My head hurts and I'm still shaking, but I don't want to sleep. I'm afraid. In my dreams he's not there to protect me. When I sleep, I'll be alone... "Damn it, Mooney, you have to sleep, you have to get some rest, otherwise you'll faint again! Or worse, maybe...", he breaks up. I know what he was going to say. I know pretty well that I am weak at the moment. I burst into tears. 'No', I think, 'Please, not right in front of him!' "I'm sorry", I mutter and look at him. "No, Mooney", he says, his voice full of regret, "I should have been there! I should have been with you!" Then he gives me a wonderful, emotional embrace. In his strong arms, I feel save, I feel protected, but most of all I feel loved, when Sirius Black embraces me like this... The End Hope ya like it^^ Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)